Monday, May 22, 2006

Relationships 'n stuff

Spent the weekend in Örebro (way up north) at a conference for district chair persons in RFSL Ungdom. A lot of fun, actually, thou it may not aound that way. We learned a lot, and of course it was fun to get to know some new people. Also felt great that Andreas (vice president) offered to help out in all matters regarding everything that has been a problem at school (the things I don't wanna write, you know).

At the train home, there was this really pretty girl, and she was sitting just a couple of seats from me. Not only on the first train, but also when we had switched train, and my friends was kind of bugging me 'cause I said I wasn't gonna do anything about it. Well, I thought I had to challenge myself to do something I normally wouldn't do. I actually wrote a note and passed it to her when she was passing my seat... It said "You're pretty. Feel free to contact me..." and my e-mail address. So far no mails, but that's probably just as good.

My big issue is Jenny. I'm not sure what I want... I mean, I like her a lot. And I think I'd like it to be something more then just a none existing relationship. But then againg, I still feel strange being free to do all those single thing - like passing pretty girls notes or flirt with someone on the internet. Will Jenny be fine with that? I mean, I've always seen myself as mono, and that would mean I'm not really in love with Jenny if I keep thinking about other people. Or I'm poly, but I'm not sure what Jenny would think of that sort of relationship. Facts are that she's not sure she wants any kind of relationship either. Understatement: at least not with a man. I've kind of understood that she's been really hurt by men before, and has big problems letting go. Well, thats the price I have to pay for not being a girl...

Maybe this is just anotherone of those things that is just created by the heteronormativity. I mean, why do you have to define your relationships to everybody? I've never talked to my old friends about being friends with them. I've never discussed my relationship with Chris with Chris. So why do I feel like me and Jenny have to define us and have loads of deep disussions about what we want in our relationship, just because I have a different kind of feelings for her? Chris uses to say that the difference between a very good friend and someone you're in love with is that you are sexually attracted to someone you're in love with, but not your friends.

It could be true. I'd definately like to have sex with Jenny...


Post a Comment

<< Home