A little bit of queer

Sometimes you stumble across something queer in an enviroment where you never suspected it. Such things always makes me happy, and today I got really really glad. I'm watching "Beck - Monstret" ("Beck - the Monster") which is a swedish movie, a part of a series of movies about the criminal investigator called Beck and his group of polices, solving crimes. Kind of nice movies I think, and perfect for making the time move a little bit faster an ordinary friday afternoon.

This Beck guy's got a pretty strange neighbour who often asks Beck to have a drink with him. Just a few minutes ago, he called Beck out to the balcony to offer him a drink in his apartment. Then, just out of nowhere, he asks Beck if he often comes across transvestites at work. When Beck answers no and wonders why the neighbour asked, the neighbour says that he's a bit interested of that, "wearing a bra and so on". Beck then ways "Well, try it" but then the neighbour says "No, no no... But maybe a little handbag..." After a bit of discussion he adds that a scarf might be nice.

It's those little pieces of queer, scattered around in the ordinary society, that makes me so happy. It feels so good to know that even Beck's neighbour might be a transvestite, that thoughts about gender and sexuality pops up in everyones mind once in a while, no matter if they're otherwise connected to our little queer society or not. That means that it's not we who are strange and has made some strange stuff up, it shows that it's actually the society that's strange for denying people their right to do whatever they want, feel whatever thay want and think whatever they want.

That makes me happy.

Maybe we'll get a chance to see the neighbour in a scarf, carrying a little handbag in a future movie? I sure hope so.

If this made my day, that would make my year.

Visit by the student corps

Today we had another swedish lesson in school, wich was sonderful. But the first thing that happend was that a guy form the student corps of Malmö (Studentkåren i Malmö) wanted to talk to us about election someone (elect? we don't even know each others names!) to be our representative at some meetings during the term. I wasn't really interested, 'cause even though I am a member (there's a law for two more years saying you have to be) I don't think it seems that fun, and I've got other things to do. But anyway, some "girl" (or someone who looked like a girl) raised her hand and said she could do it.

Then the guy suddenly wanted to persons, "a boy AND a girl", and looked intensely at the few biologicaly born guys that was present in the classroom. About then I felt the heteronormativity hitting me in the stomach with an iron-gloved fist. What if I wanted to be that guy? I didn't, but if I did I would never have raised my hand in that moment. To have twenty five persons that you don't know look at you like you were from outer space, and hearing that guy say "well, I rather wanted a boy, but..." would just feel terrible. And what if someone in that room doesn't define themselves as either a man or a woman? If I, who are pretty used to always explaining myself and my trassexualism, didn't have the guts to raise my arm and take the discussion in front of the entire class, what happens with people who are in the process of coming out, or is just realizing who they are?

I hate the heteronormativity. I actually though of throwing myself into some strange, rather high position in the corps just to make them realize what they do to people, but then my teacher started his otherwise lovely lesson with "well then, boys and girls..." and I had to face reality.

I live in a queer bubble, and noone outside will ever understand. Some can be invited, some will invite themselves and some can be forced to an understanding, but on the whole they will never break free of their normes.

(Someone, chear me up 'cause I need it real bad right now)